This actually happened a few days ago, but is well worth sharing with those of you who might be reading my thoughts here...
I almost didn't post this because I didn't want my blog to turn into a collection of fart stories, but who cares! I'll offer you this disclaimer:
If you appreciate good old fart jokes, keep reading, if not... you're probably lying, everyone likes fart jokes.
So I'm proctoring the standardized testing that is done at my school (standardized tests are now done on the computer, and since I work in the tech lab, I have the pleasure of watching kids take tests for two weeks). Anyway, I was reading the instructions to the test, which I have to repeat for every class that takes a test, and upon finishing my speech, someone very close by rips a rather loud, and pretty powerful fart. Bear in mind the fact that this was the seventh and eight grade group and, for once in their lives, they were completely silent at that moment. I braced myself for the eminent laughter and teasing that was bound to ensue, but nothing happened! I did my best to hide my disgust (this was a juicy one after all) and my laughter and managed to sit down and bury my face in my computer. Just when I thought we had dodged a bullet and the kids were settling into their test, I hear another fart. This one was at least as loud and came with at least as much force as the first. Still no reaction from the crowd, amazing. To make a very long (and uncomfortable) story short, this seventh grade girl sitting no more than four feet away from me proceeded to thunderously pass gas in a room with no windows and limited ventilation, filled with her classmates who were to all to be stuck there for at least 45 minutes, upwards of nine times! I had the dean of students come over and pull her out after number nine or ten, and when asked if she was feeling ok, she replied, "Yes, why?" And when she was told why we suspected that her stomach was upset, she replied with, "Oh! Do you think I was being disruptive?" WTF?!!
She came back and finished the rest of her test without farting.
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