"Pumpin' Up, Pumpin' Iron"

Something that has sort of slipped through the cracks of pop culture in the last decade, mostly for good reason, is the "sport" of body building.  Saturday night changed all that for me in one, ninety minute, tidal wave of borderline homoeroticism and polyester.  If you have never been lucky enough to experience the testosterone fest that is the 1970's documentary "Pumping Iron" well, I pity you, I really do.  Fear not, you poor, huddled masses, there is hope.  Netflix carries the dvd, or for you who, like me, could not wait, youtube has the film broken into nine or so parts.  For part one click here.

Before you begin your adventure into the land of body oil, bulging pecs, and fathers living vicariously through their sons (Lou Farrigno's dad), there are a few steps to take in preparation.  First, purchase a bottle of Bourbon, I recommend, from experience, the George T. Stagg from Buffalo Trace Distillery.  At just over 70% alcohol by volume, it has just enough kick to stand up to 27 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger's chiseled back.  The whiskey will put you in the appropriate state of mind (which is best described by the theme song to Matt Stone and Trey Parker's film "Orgazmo" entitled "Now You're a Man")  Once you have the proper potent potables, watch this sketch from Mad Tv.  I know what you're thinking, Mad Tv sucks, and for the most part, I agree, but there are a few things they do very well including Opera and Arnold.  Well done, now you have a good idea of Schwarzenegger in parody and you're ready to compare that with the real man.

Keep in mind that this documentary is not a joke, intentionally.  The interviews are serious, the responses are serious, the cockiness is serious, the tears are serious, the shower scene is serious!

During the course of the film you will learn that Arnold has been Mr. Olympia for the last six years and is going for number seven.  The competition this year is tough, including future Hulk Lou Ferrigno and Arnold's best friend Franco Columbo, who is shown picking up and moving a car out of a tight parking spot in his home town in Italy.  In spite of the very worthy and well prepared competition Schwarzenegger shows no sign of ever questioning himself throughout the entire film.  The filmmakers do a fantastic job of bringing his inflated ego to the forefront by cutting from clips of Ferrigno grunting and training in a basement gym in Brooklyn to Arnold on the beach in California or at a photo shoot with bikini-clad go-go dancer-looking girls groping him and giggling.  Brilliant.

Something else to note is that this movie is shot in the "golden era" of body building, just before steroids, ok well some of the guys are juicing, but for the most part, this is the real deal.  Knowing that fact made me feel a lot better about watching these guys, being a guy who doesn't even like to touch things like Muscle Milk, I have a lot of respect for people who have the discipline to simply use diet and exercise to achieve their fitness goals.  Whether or not you like how these men look, you have to respect the work it takes to get there.  Raise your glass of only slightly watered cask strength Bourbon (September is national Bourbon Heritage month by the way) and get ready to shock your mind and your gluts.